We're midway through our second month as a childcare swap group. I've been looking at September and October's calendars and noticing how far we've come already:
-There were eight total requested childcare swaps for the month of September, two of which went unfilled. There are 15 scheduled or completed swaps for the month of October and so far only one has gone unfilled.
-From September to October, our group has grown from four to eight families.
-There were no whole group get togethers in September, but we scheduled one for October!
-Our October calendar has been much more fluid than September, with members adding last minute care needs and using our group email to get them filled, deleting care from the calendar when no longer needed, or multiple members offering to cover the same time slot and ending up with a playdate!
-In September most group members emailed or texted me and the group about care needs and ability to provide, and I did most of the calendar editing. In October our group members seem to have gotten comfortable with the calendar doc and are doing their own posting!
This seems like pretty good progress for a month and a half! I'm excited to see the group continue to grow and evolve.
Friday, October 16, 2015
Getting To Know You
Even with our small group, we don't all know each other well. Our kids are different ages. We are at different stages in our parenting journies. Some of us are parents of more than one child (one group member has four kids!), others are parents of just one (five of us in that group). In order for us all to feel comfortable watching each others kids at each others houses, we need to know each other a bit better.
So we've scheduled a potluck brunch for all of us. The kids can run around and interact and the parents can chat and get to know each other. It was really a challenge to find a date and time that worked for everyone - even though we've been emailing about making this happen all month, our scheduled date isn't until the first of November. I hope that this will also be an opportunity to talk as a group about some ideas and norms of the childcare swap, such as:
-How much information does the care provider need? Emergency contacts? (Yes!) Insurance info? Allergies? (Yes!) Preferences? Could we make a document within our group that held all this info so parents didn't have to re-write/type it each time?
-How do we share our success with our larger community of parents without making this group open to everyone?
-Successes/challenges/ideas with the group so far?
I'm looking forward to our get together!
So we've scheduled a potluck brunch for all of us. The kids can run around and interact and the parents can chat and get to know each other. It was really a challenge to find a date and time that worked for everyone - even though we've been emailing about making this happen all month, our scheduled date isn't until the first of November. I hope that this will also be an opportunity to talk as a group about some ideas and norms of the childcare swap, such as:
-How much information does the care provider need? Emergency contacts? (Yes!) Insurance info? Allergies? (Yes!) Preferences? Could we make a document within our group that held all this info so parents didn't have to re-write/type it each time?
-How do we share our success with our larger community of parents without making this group open to everyone?
-Successes/challenges/ideas with the group so far?
I'm looking forward to our get together!
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Ideal group size?
Our little group now includes eight families. We mostly know each other, but have agreed to schedule a 'playdate' to get to know one another better. Just finding a time when we are all available is a struggle. I'm thinking that a group of about 10 people would be ideal. As it is, we've only had one care need go unfilled this month, and the calendar is booked with at least three childcare swaps per week till the end of October. But I do wonder, having had a sick baby for the last four days, if a couple more people would be ideal - if nothing else but the possibility of an emergency switch of providers if need be. But I know MANY more people who are interested in participating in something like this, and I don't want word to get out accidentally or have people feel as though they've been left out of an 'exclusive' group. I'm thinking it may be time to announce our success, provide a template, and let others create their own swaps. Parents could choose to be part of one group or multiple groups, but each group would remain small.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Ratoncito
Taking a break childcare blogging to document this fun game "Ratoncito" that my daughter and I like to play with the felt board. We hide the mouse behind one of four houses (blue, yellow, green or red) and then chant, "¡Ratoncito! ¡Ratoncito! ¿Dónde estás? ¿Dónde estás? ¿Estás detrás de la casa ________ (choose a color)? Then we take off the houses to find the mouse. This game has made me realize that 'gamification' starts very early and naturally as we teach our children - here we're learning about colors and memory through play.
Technical difficulties...
In my observation, moms of young children, particularly young breastfeeding children, spend an inordinate amount of time on their smart phones. You see, the space between when the little suckler closes their sweet eyes and when they are actually asleep enough to be layed down is perhaps the only space of time in the whole day when a mama can connect to the outside world without constant interruption. Phone calls? Nope, too loud. But text messages, Facebook, email, news - these are the golden five or ten minutes of such little luxuries.
Once the kiddo lays down for a nap, the last thing a mama wants to do is sit in front of a computer screen. During the time the kids is sleeping there are one of two options - 1) Try to get the chores done. ALL of them. 2) RELAX. Read a book. Drink the (now cold) coffee that never made it to your lips this morning.
The result of all this is that our Google Doc - ostensibly being used to organize our childcare swap, is seldom viewed and less often edited by the members of our little group. It's just too hard to do on the darn cell phone. We end up emailing each other and setting up care. This works to an extent, but doesn't suit my need for organization; nor is it compatible with my terrible short term memory. So I am searching for an alternative digital format for keeping track of who's watching who's kids when. One that would be easily viewed and edited on a cell phone. Ideas anyone?
Once the kiddo lays down for a nap, the last thing a mama wants to do is sit in front of a computer screen. During the time the kids is sleeping there are one of two options - 1) Try to get the chores done. ALL of them. 2) RELAX. Read a book. Drink the (now cold) coffee that never made it to your lips this morning.
The result of all this is that our Google Doc - ostensibly being used to organize our childcare swap, is seldom viewed and less often edited by the members of our little group. It's just too hard to do on the darn cell phone. We end up emailing each other and setting up care. This works to an extent, but doesn't suit my need for organization; nor is it compatible with my terrible short term memory. So I am searching for an alternative digital format for keeping track of who's watching who's kids when. One that would be easily viewed and edited on a cell phone. Ideas anyone?
Level of trust
I recently started swapping childcare with a parent whom I don't yet know very well. It made me wonder - how do we determine who is a safe person with whom to leave our children? Does it all just come down to intuition? In a traditional baby-sitting or daycare setting the parent would interview the potential caregiver, ask for references, observe them working with children, etc. before deciding whether or not to leave their child in that care. In a sense, that's just what this mommy and I did with each other, informally.
We already had some knowledge of each other - we are both part of the same parenting group, and consequently vouch to have similar ideas about parenting (namely attachment theory), and have some acquaintances in common. To me this is roughly equivalent to having good references. We had met once before on a morning walk around the park (scheduled by our parenting group), and had talked about swapping childcare then. We planned a play date at her house to get to know each other better. Our children played and we talked, and each observed how the other interacted with the kids and how they worked together. I saw that she was gentle and attentive, and that her house was clean and safe.
Later that week she came with her two younger children to my house to watch my daughter while I got some work done. It was a lovely day and I choose to work in our 'shop,' in the backyard, leaving the back door open so I could listen. I wondered how my daughter would do being left with this near stranger - she didn't blink. Over the course of the next hour I heard a few toddler issues, all of which resolved quickly, a couple "Mama?" "Mama?" from my girl wondering where I was, and a whole lot of singing, drum banging, and the pitter patter of happy, busy little feet. I assume that in the time I was gone this mama evaluated my house for safety and 'togetherness,' just as I had done hers.
I now feel very comfortable leaving my child in her care (next time, I'm going to the cafe!), and hope she feels equally comfortable with me. It makes me realize though - setting up an informal network of childcare providers does require some initial input of time with each participating family. But in the long run I gain friends and trusted helpers in addition to having some time to myself. Not to mention - seeing different ways that people organize their houses for their kiddos, and seeing what kinds of toys my daughter gravitates to in other people's houses, is enormously useful in terms of setting up our own lives here in our 900 square feet.
We already had some knowledge of each other - we are both part of the same parenting group, and consequently vouch to have similar ideas about parenting (namely attachment theory), and have some acquaintances in common. To me this is roughly equivalent to having good references. We had met once before on a morning walk around the park (scheduled by our parenting group), and had talked about swapping childcare then. We planned a play date at her house to get to know each other better. Our children played and we talked, and each observed how the other interacted with the kids and how they worked together. I saw that she was gentle and attentive, and that her house was clean and safe.
Later that week she came with her two younger children to my house to watch my daughter while I got some work done. It was a lovely day and I choose to work in our 'shop,' in the backyard, leaving the back door open so I could listen. I wondered how my daughter would do being left with this near stranger - she didn't blink. Over the course of the next hour I heard a few toddler issues, all of which resolved quickly, a couple "Mama?" "Mama?" from my girl wondering where I was, and a whole lot of singing, drum banging, and the pitter patter of happy, busy little feet. I assume that in the time I was gone this mama evaluated my house for safety and 'togetherness,' just as I had done hers.
I now feel very comfortable leaving my child in her care (next time, I'm going to the cafe!), and hope she feels equally comfortable with me. It makes me realize though - setting up an informal network of childcare providers does require some initial input of time with each participating family. But in the long run I gain friends and trusted helpers in addition to having some time to myself. Not to mention - seeing different ways that people organize their houses for their kiddos, and seeing what kinds of toys my daughter gravitates to in other people's houses, is enormously useful in terms of setting up our own lives here in our 900 square feet.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Off and running!
I've had two children visit my house so far this month as a result of our childcare swap. One mom was able to pack for her trip while I cared for her daughter, another visited the Apple store to deal with a malfunctioning phone (hopefully she'll be able to edit our GoogleDoc now!). Both times my daughter really enjoyed having company her age, and our visiting child had fun too. In both cases I had planned to devote the 'childcare' time to entertaining toddlers, but in the end they entertained themselves (mostly) and I got more housework done then I often do when just my daughter and I are home. Laundry folded - check! Dishwasher emptied - check! Dinner prepped - well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.This week I have some time scheduled for my daughter to be cared for by another mom, and I'm planning to do homework, although I'm sorely tempted to escape to a cafe and sip tea.
So far our group is just four families. I want to grow the group so that we all have a better shot at getting care when we need it, I'm not sure how best to add people. I want everyone in the group to feel comfortable with each other, but social networks only overlap so much. There are a few other mamas that I'm starting to swap childcare with (outside of the group, which is confusing), but they're not well-connected to the families already involved with the swap. Maybe each group member should be free to invite other participants to the group, and we could schedule once a month play dates where we could all get to know each other? I think I'll keep it small for the month of September, and plan to expand in October.
Here's what our swap page looks like for September (names and phone numbers have been changed for annonimity): September Swap Page
So far our group is just four families. I want to grow the group so that we all have a better shot at getting care when we need it, I'm not sure how best to add people. I want everyone in the group to feel comfortable with each other, but social networks only overlap so much. There are a few other mamas that I'm starting to swap childcare with (outside of the group, which is confusing), but they're not well-connected to the families already involved with the swap. Maybe each group member should be free to invite other participants to the group, and we could schedule once a month play dates where we could all get to know each other? I think I'll keep it small for the month of September, and plan to expand in October.
Here's what our swap page looks like for September (names and phone numbers have been changed for annonimity): September Swap Page
Thursday, September 3, 2015
The background, and the current goal.
One year and three months ago, I became a parent. I took a one year leave of absence from my job as a teacher, but did not return when the leave ended. I choose to be at home with my daughter for these first, precious, irretrievable years. It's not a choice I have regretted even once, but one I am extremely grateful to have been in the position to make. Because the dominant culture of the United States does not make it easy for a parent to stay at home. Nor does the dominate culture validate this as one of the best gifts one can give to one's child and to the future of society as a whole (I think this is tragically shortsighted of us). Our society is no longer structured around family and extended family. Our support networks are institutionalized...and remote...and often dysfunctional.
So I've set out to find the village. The informal community of people who will be my support (and I their's) as our children grow up together. So far things are going well. I started a weekly play group at my house when my daughter was six months old. Some lovely people who barely knew me were brave enough to show up, and we became friends. I joined first a Meetup and then a Facebook group of parents and started meeting them in person at parks. Our children play together, we talk, it is lovely. Now I'm teaching a Spanish class at my house to this same group of people.
Time has passed and things are easier than they were in those first bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived months of parenthood. My daughter is 15 months old, and I have begun to find that I do still (again?) exist as a being separate from her - with my own desires and aspirations. To that end, I have started a Master's program; and I have found that I need some time to myself. So my next goal is to find the childcare within the village. The informal give and take that will allow me to study, and (dare I dream?) sip a cup of tea in peace every once in a while. This blog aims to document my progress towards this goal over the next eight weeks. Here's what we have so far:
I've created a Google doc which includes a calendar page for the month of September and instructions about how to ask for childcare (post in red), and how to answer another's request for childcare (post in green and change the red to black). I've shared this with three other mamas whom I know fairly well, who are willing to give it a spin. So far this month one session of childcare has been provided and two others have been planned. One member cannot figure out how to edit the doc on her phone, another is on vacation. But it's a start. Once we get the bugs worked out we aim to invite a few other families to join our 'childcare swap' group, to expand the likelihood that we'll all be able to get the childcare we need, and give it return. We're not looking to count hours or be exact, and we understand that childcare is not a guarantee through this group - it could happen that no one is available when I was hoping they would be, and that's ok. But for the third of the month, I'd say we're off to a pretty decent start.
So I've set out to find the village. The informal community of people who will be my support (and I their's) as our children grow up together. So far things are going well. I started a weekly play group at my house when my daughter was six months old. Some lovely people who barely knew me were brave enough to show up, and we became friends. I joined first a Meetup and then a Facebook group of parents and started meeting them in person at parks. Our children play together, we talk, it is lovely. Now I'm teaching a Spanish class at my house to this same group of people.
Time has passed and things are easier than they were in those first bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived months of parenthood. My daughter is 15 months old, and I have begun to find that I do still (again?) exist as a being separate from her - with my own desires and aspirations. To that end, I have started a Master's program; and I have found that I need some time to myself. So my next goal is to find the childcare within the village. The informal give and take that will allow me to study, and (dare I dream?) sip a cup of tea in peace every once in a while. This blog aims to document my progress towards this goal over the next eight weeks. Here's what we have so far:
I've created a Google doc which includes a calendar page for the month of September and instructions about how to ask for childcare (post in red), and how to answer another's request for childcare (post in green and change the red to black). I've shared this with three other mamas whom I know fairly well, who are willing to give it a spin. So far this month one session of childcare has been provided and two others have been planned. One member cannot figure out how to edit the doc on her phone, another is on vacation. But it's a start. Once we get the bugs worked out we aim to invite a few other families to join our 'childcare swap' group, to expand the likelihood that we'll all be able to get the childcare we need, and give it return. We're not looking to count hours or be exact, and we understand that childcare is not a guarantee through this group - it could happen that no one is available when I was hoping they would be, and that's ok. But for the third of the month, I'd say we're off to a pretty decent start.
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